You’ll quickly learn one of the hardest parts of living a mindful life is having searched and found what it means to have peace; while watching the ones you love and care about most not have the same, let’s say Anti-BS coping skills.
I can’t even count how many times someone I care about is having a hard time and I pull out every single silver lining to put a positive spin on it. For what? To listen to myself talk mostly. Because let’s be real, someone who is engulfed in their feelings isn’t listening with their ears unless you say what their heart wants to hear.
That’s exactly it: “what their heart wants to hear“.
Over time this becomes draining, it creates an anticipatory negative interactions with them which only creates tension and dampens your spirit. Don’t let your ego fool you into thinking you can save the world.
In order to do that we’d have to convince every single human to surrender to their pain, and ya can’t just force that.
As hard as it is to watch someone in your life live in negativity and pain it is also a reminder of how far you’ve come in your wisdom. A reminder to look back and remember a time you once wore the same blinders and to thank your mind and spirit for allowing such growth.
Take a step back and meditate on these ideals below when your heart carries weight for someone you love.
You can not make people choose a peaceful mindset
It is easy to focus on what is wrong, fall into the “why me” mindset. As much as it’s denied, the world renowned victim card is everyone’s favorite to pull. Falling into the “that’s already on my plate and now this” category. Sound familiar?
It’s a choice to throw away your victim card and make light of a situation that sucks, because what can ya do? But you can’t take people’s victim cards, okay?
Unless you’re some crazy super-human, your journey of peaceful wisdom didn’t somehow appear overnight. It’s literally a daily journey that is fun, scary, painful, hard and rewarding all in one.
Remember where you started on your journey and think about how you used to handle situations vs. you now. Find solace in knowing where to start and take things head on, even when you don’t want to.
Be Support & Grateful
Thank the universe for this reminder and opportunity. The reminder that you are whole, you are wise and you are enough. And for the opportunity to possibly shed light on a new form of thinking. But most importantly be light for someone who you care for.
It’s a vulnerable thing confiding in someone when hurting, so when a friend/family member opens their heart to you, listen and be strong over your personal feelings and emotions.
Remember that their journey is underway and they are their own captain, you can’t sail their ship to calmer waters, only give them the tools to do so them-self.
Separate their peace from yours
You can bring a horse to water but can’t force them to drink, let’s not drown them trying, okay? Be mindful of how your words are being absorbed, if you are talking to a wall, stop talking.
Allow yourself to be silent and stand tall only in support and love. Don’t forget that their feelings are not yours, while it is difficult to watch a loved one hurt, you cannot change people to handle their hurt the way you want.
Therefore, you must accept the things you cannot change.
Live happy, love strong and smile everyday. Be that voice for someone who needs a friendly reminder to find happiness and get grounded, but don’t put out your light to light theirs.
What ways do you deal with unmindful company? I’d love to know below in the comments!