My Heart & Confusion Since Being Home

So I’m home. 

I still don’t really know what to say to people when they asked me how my trip was. Usually it comes out something like “Great! Yeah it was really fulfilling” when really inside it’s like “Tiring, heartbreaking, emotionally trying, did i say heartbreaking?” No it’s fine. It was fine. 

The first thing I wanted to do when I got home was deeeep clean. And minimized my whole wardrobe. I had minimized yet collected so much over the years that I had way more than i remembered or wanted. After living out of a backpack for a month face to face with people who literally only have the clothes on their back something in me just doesn’t feel right having drawers and drawers of clothing. Now with all my clothes – including jackets – I take up two dresser drawers (one being socks and undies) and about two feet of closet space. It feels good.  

I’m struggling with trying to find my flow again. I feel like I pushed pause on my life before I left and when I came home I couldn’t find the remote, and don’t know if I want to. There is so much my heart is vested in that I just can’t reach or do right now. I miss my schedule at the camp in Greece, I miss the friends I made and my little brothers and sisters that I had grown so close too. 

I’m beginning to understand the work in silence and your accomplishments will speak for you mentality because this mission has brought so much attention to me that is a little overwhelming. I started receiving the “you’re my hero” DM’s and honestly that’s just crazy. What I’ve done doesn’t feel like anything more to me than a calling, nothing hero worthy. But my platform and movement is turning into something that people are paying attention to, therefore getting inspired by and that was always my goal but man it’s crazy. I don’t want to be put on this pedestal because I’m a human with human emotions and screw ups, but we’ll see how this goes. I’m so grateful to be in a position to inspire. 

I feel like I don’t know what to write about anymore, or what to film for my channel. I feel like I left all my inspiration back on the island the day I said goodbye. 

Long story short I’m lost in the hustle and bustle of the US and I’ve lost the direction of where I’m going with what I want to write/film/share. 

What’s my niche? I don’t know. I always just lived and shared what was on my heart/mind to try and help others but now I fear there’s a new level expected of me that I don’t know if I can attain on a regular basis. So much pressure. 

We, Sisters All In One, are now going into our presentation mode to put together all the content we gathered while at camp to make an hour-ish long presentation to share with Universities, schools and other event venues that are willing to share our mission. Our goal now is to spread awareness and inspire others to vote, donate and volunteer.

If you’re reading this, do me a favor and comment something you’d like to read or see from me. I need help curating ideas that will actually help my audience. Your insight means the world to me. 

That’s it for now. Love you greatly. 

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