I lose motivation to write here and there. I want to create content that is valuable to you, but it proves to be hard as that puts my creative flow in the box of thinking “is this actually something people want to read/watch/listen to/engage with?” instead of thinking “is this something *I* want to be creating? Is this something I, Sady, would want to pay attention too?”
Because by creating content through my current flow for myself, I will attract the tribe that resonates at the level I put out.
So much unnecessary pressure I put on myself… Thank you for reading this.
I kick myself constantly when I think back to things I could have, should have written about but didn’t and now lack the inspiration or freshness that my wordsmithing thrives on.
I could have written a lot about the Peace Walk, and part of me still wants too but is it too late? How relevant is it at this point? For me and for you.. I don’t know.
I have started working on my poetry again seriously for the first time in so long. I’m stepping away from “paper poems” you know the perfectly aligned rhyming stanzas that are more fun to read than hear be read to you on stage; and am stepping into more of the freeform, slam it down in your face kind of poetry.
It’s a lot of fun.
I also started a poetry book.. which is why I’m not publishing my new finished pieces on this blog so make sure to find Love Through Living’s podcast wherever you listen to podcasts so that you can catch my new freeform poems on there..
Idk there has been a really big shift in my focuses lately, I notice that I have lost a couple notches of connected when it comes to nature. I don’t think about meditation/mindfulness like I used to in fact, I have fallen into a really unmindful state which has lead me to crave weird things like beer and chicken. And I haven’t eaten meat in 5 years..
I have to get my health back. My mental health. I am not in a bad place, by any means – I am happy, fulfilled and energetic as ever; just re-blinded to all the things I had spent years unblinding myself from. So the process re-begins.
I’m learning these are the phases of life. In out, up down – crazy and all around – repeat.
I have been focusing on stretching and gently falling back into yoga, I have started belly dancing again – for myself and myself only because WHOA MAN my hips are tight like my great grandma never showed me a Sa’idi step before. It feels good to loosen up my body and creative mind while diving into projects that are so necessary right now.
But while I’m filling my cup up, there still lays a lot of empty space at the brim. I am working slowly but surely, drop by drop filling that cup up to the top and in the mean time trying to figure out what to create for this old but true platform that I have fallen so far away from in so many ways.
What started as a place to share my journey turned into something that I had to work SO hard for, because it wasn’t sharing my flow it was searching for the right flow to flow into engagement, an audience etc. and in the process neglected the intention from the jump.
I know that’s why I’m at this beginning phase of re-alignment again, because instead of continuing to learn myself I wanted to present it in a way that taught others and man, that makes sense but not in my books.
I can’t teach, only let my actions and the expression of my actions create a ripple and do what it does, on it’s own. I’m stepping into that power, and into myself.
I love you. And I appreciate you more than you know for reading the words committed to this page. I will write more, I promise. And we will grow together.
Until next time, Friend.